Where it all started:
I was fortunate to grow up in a house with lots of books, where words and music were an important part of everyday life and equally lucky to go to a rural primary school where creativity was valued and nurtured. On Friday afternoons, normal lessons would stop and we would spend time responding to a painting or a piece of music in any way we chose. Inevitably for me this was a story or poem. I can still remember the dreamy mood those afternoons invoked in me, the feelings of pleasure and relaxation I gained from them, the deep thrill of seeing my first poem in the school magazine.
The Process
The process of writing poetry starts with a pen and ideally my notebook but if I don't have it with me then any scrap of paper I can find has to do and this has included beer mats, receipts, coffee cup holders, the back of maps, though not my phone, because there's something about the actual physical act of writing that remains important. Quite often a line, feeling or idea arrives out of the ether or is triggered by something overheard or seen. It may stay with me for a couple of days or just minutes or hours, so I have to make notes before I lose it completely. At this stage I rarely know exactly where the poem is going or what form it's going to take.
If I have a poem to write for a project or commission, I start by gathering information from various sources and then read and sift through it a number of times until something grabs my attention. This happened when I was researching for the circus women project, 'Female Funambulists' - I'm intrigued by back stories and love it when a quirky, seeming irrelevant detail emerges that I can use.
Sometimes a poem arises from an occasion - I've had the pleasure of writing poems for civil partnerships and weddings, which is a lovely experience. At the other end of the scale, death creates a need to express strong feeling and I find the containment of a poem can really help. 'Shepherd's Pie' (see below) is an example of this, when feeling grieved and inadequate after the death of my partner's lovely father, I fell into a default position of cooking and doing practical tasks for the family.
I was fortunate to grow up in a house with lots of books, where words and music were an important part of everyday life and equally lucky to go to a rural primary school where creativity was valued and nurtured. On Friday afternoons, normal lessons would stop and we would spend time responding to a painting or a piece of music in any way we chose. Inevitably for me this was a story or poem. I can still remember the dreamy mood those afternoons invoked in me, the feelings of pleasure and relaxation I gained from them, the deep thrill of seeing my first poem in the school magazine.
The Process
The process of writing poetry starts with a pen and ideally my notebook but if I don't have it with me then any scrap of paper I can find has to do and this has included beer mats, receipts, coffee cup holders, the back of maps, though not my phone, because there's something about the actual physical act of writing that remains important. Quite often a line, feeling or idea arrives out of the ether or is triggered by something overheard or seen. It may stay with me for a couple of days or just minutes or hours, so I have to make notes before I lose it completely. At this stage I rarely know exactly where the poem is going or what form it's going to take.
If I have a poem to write for a project or commission, I start by gathering information from various sources and then read and sift through it a number of times until something grabs my attention. This happened when I was researching for the circus women project, 'Female Funambulists' - I'm intrigued by back stories and love it when a quirky, seeming irrelevant detail emerges that I can use.
Sometimes a poem arises from an occasion - I've had the pleasure of writing poems for civil partnerships and weddings, which is a lovely experience. At the other end of the scale, death creates a need to express strong feeling and I find the containment of a poem can really help. 'Shepherd's Pie' (see below) is an example of this, when feeling grieved and inadequate after the death of my partner's lovely father, I fell into a default position of cooking and doing practical tasks for the family.
Shepherd’s Pie
On the day afterwards, make Shepherd’s pie
in an unfamiliar oven. Cook it slowly until
the surface goldens and the gravy bubbles.
Make enough for twenty after the long cruel night.
And when suddenly hungry, they exclaim
over scraped plates and ask you to write
down the recipe, say this is your secret:
red wine, oregano, a teaspoon of Marmite.
Keep back the knowledge that your whole
corkscrewed heart went into that sauce.
That this and washing sheets and making tea
are the only salves for death you know.
Heartbreak and bereavement are of course bountiful sources for poems; there is so much to process, so much that has remained unsaid and I admit this sometimes has a therapeutic element. My father died in 2010 and I am still in the process of writing new poems about him, about our relationship and his journey through to death.
People often ask the self censor question - for example, should we risk hurting a member of the family's feelings with the truth as we see it? It's a fine line and I try to be authentic and honest but yes it's tricky, so sometimes I write the poem for myself but it doesn't go any further than that.
How long does writing a poem take ? (Or how long is a piece of string?)
When I'm deep in a new piece of writing, be it poetry or prose, it's a bit like having a new lover and yearning to be with them.
I know I get grouchy when things keep me away from my writing and can ignore and annoy my family and friends for days at a time. It may sound overdramatic but it's an itch that has to be scratched, an absolute compulsion; I could no more give up writing than give up breathing, even though it can impact on other areas of my life. I remember reading somewhere that you have to be selfish to be a writer and I think that's true and that generally this makes it harder for women to find time to write, especially those with children, we very often have lots of other needs to see to before our own. See Gillian Clarke's wonderful long poem, 'Letter from a far country' if you need convincing on that one. Meanwhile here's a brief extract:
'This morning's all activity./I draw the detritus of a family's/loud life before me, a snow plough,/a road sweeper with my cart of leaves./ The washing machine drones in the distance/From time to time/ as it falls silent,I fill baskets/with damp clothes..'
I have known people assume that poets knock out poems easily and quickly and although some do and that can occasionally happen, it really isn't like that for most of us, most of the time. Writing good poetry takes time. After all, it's a distillation of experience, information and emotion and this takes extensive careful thought and revision.
For me, after the initial realisation of the poem, the euphoria usually wears off as I read through and it loses its glimmer, or I get down to the process of editing and have to kill off some of the lines I initially loved because they don't fit or turn out to be paraphrased from elsewhere.
Speaking personally, it's always important to step away from a poem for a week or more before returning to it. Otherwise my stern inner critic has a field day and can demolish it out of turn. Similarly, I don't show new poems that feel fragile to anyone, not even my writing group, because I need to nurture and toughen them up a bit first. Writing groups and critical writing friends are really important though and I wouldn't be without them. It's a lonely business otherwise and hard to keep going, plus specific thoughtful feedback, (even if you don't like it!) from people who care about you and value your writing process, is such a gift.
Editing
I was astonished to be at a poetry reading the other day where the poet admitted she never edited a poem once it was written.
Personally, I spend many, many, hours, weeks or even years working on a poem. This is usually because there is one line or word that doesn't sit or sound right, so I may have up to thirty different saved versions of the same poem and might spend up to six hours at a time with a back and forwards fettling of that one line. When it comes to rhythm, I find going for a walk very helpful. I will repeat or try out a line over and over and find the rhythm of walking itself makes it easier to spot what's not working, though no doubt people are bemused by my mutterings!
Once a poem is published I sometimes think,"That line's still not right,'' so it changes once again. Having said that, I feel poems are a bit like my children going out into the world and finding their place, so when a poem is accepted for publication and I don't need to fret over it anymore, it feels liberating and joyful.
One thing I've learnt and would like to share, is that poetry, like all art, is an intensely personal experience, both for the poet and their readers, including possible Editors. A piece that one person dismisses may be taken up elsewhere, so don't be disheartened. Of course it's helpful to research publications and see what kinds of poems that publication, or publisher is choosing or writing themselves, as this makes success more likely.
People often ask the self censor question - for example, should we risk hurting a member of the family's feelings with the truth as we see it? It's a fine line and I try to be authentic and honest but yes it's tricky, so sometimes I write the poem for myself but it doesn't go any further than that.
How long does writing a poem take ? (Or how long is a piece of string?)
When I'm deep in a new piece of writing, be it poetry or prose, it's a bit like having a new lover and yearning to be with them.
I know I get grouchy when things keep me away from my writing and can ignore and annoy my family and friends for days at a time. It may sound overdramatic but it's an itch that has to be scratched, an absolute compulsion; I could no more give up writing than give up breathing, even though it can impact on other areas of my life. I remember reading somewhere that you have to be selfish to be a writer and I think that's true and that generally this makes it harder for women to find time to write, especially those with children, we very often have lots of other needs to see to before our own. See Gillian Clarke's wonderful long poem, 'Letter from a far country' if you need convincing on that one. Meanwhile here's a brief extract:
'This morning's all activity./I draw the detritus of a family's/loud life before me, a snow plough,/a road sweeper with my cart of leaves./ The washing machine drones in the distance/From time to time/ as it falls silent,I fill baskets/with damp clothes..'
I have known people assume that poets knock out poems easily and quickly and although some do and that can occasionally happen, it really isn't like that for most of us, most of the time. Writing good poetry takes time. After all, it's a distillation of experience, information and emotion and this takes extensive careful thought and revision.
For me, after the initial realisation of the poem, the euphoria usually wears off as I read through and it loses its glimmer, or I get down to the process of editing and have to kill off some of the lines I initially loved because they don't fit or turn out to be paraphrased from elsewhere.
Speaking personally, it's always important to step away from a poem for a week or more before returning to it. Otherwise my stern inner critic has a field day and can demolish it out of turn. Similarly, I don't show new poems that feel fragile to anyone, not even my writing group, because I need to nurture and toughen them up a bit first. Writing groups and critical writing friends are really important though and I wouldn't be without them. It's a lonely business otherwise and hard to keep going, plus specific thoughtful feedback, (even if you don't like it!) from people who care about you and value your writing process, is such a gift.
Editing
I was astonished to be at a poetry reading the other day where the poet admitted she never edited a poem once it was written.
Personally, I spend many, many, hours, weeks or even years working on a poem. This is usually because there is one line or word that doesn't sit or sound right, so I may have up to thirty different saved versions of the same poem and might spend up to six hours at a time with a back and forwards fettling of that one line. When it comes to rhythm, I find going for a walk very helpful. I will repeat or try out a line over and over and find the rhythm of walking itself makes it easier to spot what's not working, though no doubt people are bemused by my mutterings!
Once a poem is published I sometimes think,"That line's still not right,'' so it changes once again. Having said that, I feel poems are a bit like my children going out into the world and finding their place, so when a poem is accepted for publication and I don't need to fret over it anymore, it feels liberating and joyful.
One thing I've learnt and would like to share, is that poetry, like all art, is an intensely personal experience, both for the poet and their readers, including possible Editors. A piece that one person dismisses may be taken up elsewhere, so don't be disheartened. Of course it's helpful to research publications and see what kinds of poems that publication, or publisher is choosing or writing themselves, as this makes success more likely.
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Writer's Block and that 'sinking feeling'
Nearly every writer gets it. For me it comes after I've finished a big piece of work or project and I feel tired and empty of ideas. It's not a good feeling but I have found it's okay to take time away from writing and rest. Then when I'm ready to start back, I turn to the following books as they work for me:
Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones, Wild Mind, Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way. The practice of keeping a writing journal and writing for ten minutes a day without checking or censoring can be very freeing. Writing groups are also wonderful for making sure you write something regularly however short. If you can't get to a group there are lots of online writing communities and free exercises and advice too.
The 'sinking feeling' is harder. You may recognise it - you achieve writing success in some way, feel really happy and then descend into a mire of self doubt and imposter syndrome. There are cultural reasons for this I think and can only pass on the recent advice of Jennifer Grigg, my wonderful editor at Green Bottle Press, which is, "Fight it all the way!"